Monday, 6 June 2011

I am a wife! I am NOT a prostitute!

First and foremost, I am not a feminist neither a women liberation advocate.

As a wife for almost 23 years, I am trying to be fair in giving out my opinion. When it comes to the roles and responsibilities of a wife and a woman in a family, I always try to be unbiased as it evolves around myself. I am full-time working wife, what is more now... I am struggling with another huge responsibility as a student. A trust not from a husband but from a nation which belongs to an ummah back home.

However, I was actually startled with the sub-headline in one of the mainstreams (online) last night. I thought... it must have been due to desperation! Didn't we have any other way of raising the issue!

In the first place... I don't have much time to dig further on the issue... my academic work is waiting there... but the burst of the news compelled me to drop few words here.

Why is it always a wife or a women becoming an issue in a marriage relationship?

How do we see a marriage?

What is the foundation of our marriage?

A wife is a complementary in a woman-man relationship that solemnised in the name of Allah. The beauty of this relationship is stipulated in the Quranic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). 

So, she is complementing the man's life - roles and responsibilities and vice versa! Both a wife and a husband has her/his responsibilities towards each other... a wife towards her husband and a husband towards his wife! A wife has rights towards her husband and vice versa! 

Allow me to quote a description of a husband-wife relationship by Dr Sherif Muhammad:

'Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.'

Having a clear understanding of what a marriage is.... problems in the institutions would have always be contributed by both parties, the wife and the husband... be it emotional issues or even sexual issues! In my perspective 'Sekiranya suami sanggup menyediakan segalanya....sudah tentu isteri boleh menyediakan segalanya untuk suami!' If this is not the case, be realistic and practical in handling a marriage dear husband. 

So, Kelab Taat Suami may be welcome by most husbands but not all thoughtful wives...  because a true husband-wife relationship is not a one-sided one but a reflection of both parties. In the case of the sexual demand anyway, the use of the word 'pelacur' or 'prostitute'... I would say it was overly-exaggerating and very inappropriate. Why should we degrade ourselves to that extent? 

A wife is always a WIFE and NEVER be a prostitute! 

In any extent you serve your husband, you are always dignified as a WIFE. A prostitute is anyone beyond the world of a marriage that is owned by a husband and a wife. 

If you are male chauvinist, you must have not agreed with my perspectives... as you would always perceive that a wife should be in the position of submitting towards a husband unconditionally! To what extent? 

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